Strengths in Structure
Your essay effectively outlines the major views of Plato, Aristotle, and Aquinas regarding the body and soul. This structured approach helps the reader follow your argument clearly and understand the distinctions between the philosophers' thoughts.
Depth of Analysis
To improve your grade, consider including more critical analysis between the views presented. For instance, compare how Plato's perspective on the soul's immortality contrasts with Aristotle's idea that the soul cannot exist without the body. This analysis will enhance depth in your essay and align with higher marking criteria.
Clarifying Key Terms
It would also be beneficial to introduce key terms or concepts clearly for readers who may not be familiar with the philosophies. For instance, defining what dualism and Hylomorphism are briefly at the start of each paragraph could provide helpful context for your audience.
Holistic Feedback
Overall, your essay presents a good understanding of the body-soul relationship as discussed by key philosophers. However, to achieve a higher mark, you should deepen your critical analysis and clarify philosophical terms to create a more comprehensive argument. Linking your points more critically and ensuring clarity will improve your analysis significantly.